analog_boyx

Last night was a very interesting night. I had expected that my Sunday night would be assignment and new episode of The Walking Dead. But I did neither, though I started my project proposal and picked my topic and started research.

Linda and Bill came down in the afternoon and the four of us sat around and drank tea, then a while later Mariah's boyfriend, Greg, came over and we all chatted and killed off a couple bottles of wine between the five of us by 6:30. Then they went out to this incredible little Mediterranean/Middle Eastern restaurant, Mezzetta, and I declined their invitation to join, so I could focus on my work for a bit. They came back after dinner, and then Mason and his girlfriend, Laura, came over. They had already arranged with Mariah that they were coming and staying the night, so that was cool. And then it turned into a couple's fest, not really though. It was lots of fun with all of us, Mariah's parents included. We sat around, drank a few more bottles of wine, had some fancy cheese and bread,  listened to some good music, and told fun stories. The Cray's left around 11:30, and we started into the gin shots. 

Long story short, after more wine (we killed 6 bottles in total) and a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, it was like 2:30am, and we were sitting around, chatting, trying to be less loud because we had a complaint. 

And we get into a racism debate...

( Click if you want to hear my opinion on race and Greg... Obviously, you want to. )

I want to leave so badly.
And I am, on Wednesday morning. So excited.
My plan is: 
Wednesday morning my dad is picking me up, I'm going to chill out and do all my laundry and pack. Then more chill times on Thursday (AND at night I'm going to watch all my tv shows ON TV haha!). Then we're leaving at 4am Friday norning for Floridaaaaaa!

Holy, long post!

Attempting to stay focused on studying for my film essay test tomorrow. I've resigned to the fact that it is going to go horribly, but I just need to be able to write something at least partially relevant to the question. I'm about halfway through looking over the 5 lectures/readings that the test could be about. I'm just making study notes from the textbook chaps, case studies, and online articles for each of the 5 weeks, and if I have time I will make notes on the actual screenings (that I never saw because I skipped every lecture haha).

This past week/weekend felt like a crazy cigarette/weed/alcohol binge. Not good for me. But fun and better than my normal antisocial, depressed state of mind. Saturday turned into a fun evening with Mariah and Keith, at his sister's housewarming party. We only knew each other, so it was mostly awkward, but we met some people, and drank and smoked a shitload to ease the awkwardness, which is my go-to strategy for relieving social anxiety. Again, not good for me. But oh well.

My study night is being fueled by some great chill albums: Metals by Feist, Flaws by Bombay Bicycle Club, Provincial by John K Samson, Strange Mercy by St. Vincent, The Only Reason I Feel Secure by Pedro The Lion, and Civilian by Wye Oak.

I am content-ish.

ALSO, I had a wonderful Björk related spaz attack earlier. I discovered that she was interviewed and performed on the Colbert Report one day last week. I spent 20-25 mins hunting around the internet looking for video of the episode that would actually work for me. But eventually I found it. And It was lovely! It was quite respectful considering how the majority of American media generally treats her, and of course what I expected from Stephen Colbert, but it was also very funny. And she was adorable. Stephen Colbert was like, "Can I lick your album?" and she just responded with, "You should give it a go." And they talked about technology, and science, and elves. And then she preformed Cosmogony, and she sounded brilliant and looked brilliant, and I was just reminded of how much I love and treasure her. Also, that sounds creepy and stalkery but that's okay.

I wish I was adventurous and had extra money, because I soooo badly want to attend her Biophilia residency in New York. I'm sure the shows are all sold out now. I hope she releases a DVD set for this album, I would buy that. AND, I am purchasing an iPod Touch sometime this week and I will finally have full access to her Biophilia App. So pleased with that.

Like 11 days until I leave for Florida.
Lots to do.
1 test (tomorrow)
1 research proposal (that is over due, but I will hand it in on Wed or Thurs)
And Benjamin may be visiting this weekend :)

STUDY BREAK OVER

I don't even know where to start. Here are some random thoughts:

Every dream that I've had/remembered in the past 3 weeks has involved home in some respect. Some included my house, my extended family, DCVI, and all the random people from St. Marys. It's extremely depressing how nostalgic and homesick I am. When I wake up from them I feel even worse than I did the night before.

Mariah is the most frustrating person I've ever met. But she's the best friend I have here. And that is sad. I was watching the most recent 30 Rock episode and the Liz/Jenna relationship is the closest representation there is of Mariah and I. Obviously, I'm the Liz Lemon in that relationship. We are so different, complete opposites, but we need and can't live without each other.

I am so frustrated by the internet these days. With the shutting down of megaupload and the impending doom of ACTA and SOPA etc, my obsession with tv shows and the internet are threatened. And that is overwhelming to me.

I got all caught up with Bones. So good.  
I'm trying to finish Modern Family, but without megavideo and videobb it is super irritating. Plus, we are over our GB limit from Rogers, so I can't torrent the rest of season 2.
I rewatched the first season of Dexter on Netflix. It will always be the most incredible season.
I also just watched some Vampire Diaries season 2, for nostalgia.
My next series to conquer is probably Buffy, or Mad Men, and I should probably start Breaking Bad season 4.

TV is literally the only thing that makes me happy these days.

And music, of course.
I have been listening to Provincial by John K Samson (from The Weakerthans) basically on repeat. The album is amazing, I will always have a geeky crush on him/his voice/his lyrics. I've also been listening to a lot of old Pedro The Lion. And the new Nada Surf album.

And thinking about how I'm leaving for Florida in 18 days. It's going to be a fun, carefree week with my parents and Emma. 
I have so much to do before then. I need some new clothes and sandals. And I want to purchase an iPod Touch.

Gosh, life has been boring and I feel sort of motionless and numb.

Most of the time, I don't want to be here in Toronto. I haven't been to class in like 2 weeks. I have no energy. All I want to do is stay in bed and eat and watch shows.

I'm trying to finish the entire series of Bones on Netflix, I've made it to the middle of season 5 from the very beginning, in only a month. It's pretty crazy how much I love this show. I can't wait until I get caught up so I can see how the Booth/Bones relationship starts, and how the Angela/Jack thing works out.

I'm also trying to get caught up on Modern Family, I've only seen up until 2.02.

And then, there's the 10+ current shows I follow.

Oh God, this is my life.

The best thing right now is the fact that Mariah is rarely here. That sounds awful, but it's true. She has this new job that she likes, and a new boyfriend whom she spends practically every night with, NOT HERE, which is fantastic. I am worried about Marley, but I've been feeding him, but she needs to start taking him out for more walks. But I LOVE having the apartment to myself, and never having to see anyone. Misanthropy is awesome.

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will most likely be forever alone.

When she was a young child, she used to believe that everything would be all right once she was grown-up and nobody could tell her what to do. Now she wishes someone could tell her what to do.
-The Diviners, Margaret Laurence 

Home is nice! Being done this semester and exams is even nicer!
None of my exams were spectacular, but all were decent, I think.
I just need to work extra hard next semester

My mom and I are making Poppycock right now (basically caramel corn with almonds and pecans).
It will be incredibly delicious.

This afternoon is going to be laundry, and tv time. Or I might read. Whatever suits my fancy, because I have nothing else to do and that's lovely.

Monday, my dad and I are going Christmas shopping, because we are both crazy procrastinators and never know what to get anybody. I always feel bad, because I suck at getting people things, especially my sisters and my grandparents. But Christmas isn't all about gifts, so that's okay.

Things I am excited for:
-Christmas Eve party with my family.
-Seeing my friends when they get home!
-New Years Eve, considering the last 2 I've had to work.
-Reading Week, maybe going on a trip (if I can get my passport renewed by then). Possibly Florida or Niagara Falls with the 'rents, or Vancouver if I can organise it with Jess.
-March 21-24, Canadian Music Week for lots of concerts with Mariah and Jess! + Childish Gambino on Mar 24th :D

Lurking my next door neighbours, who are outside playing in  the snow, is pretty exciting.

OKAY
BYE

SO SO SO SO LAZY.
Ugh.

I have literally no motivation to study for my exam on Tuesday. I`m probably just going to spend all day tomorrow doing study notes etc. And I will drink coffee and be productive. But tonight, I can`t even deal with that. Just want to watch Dexter and Misfits and drink tea and stuff. Edit: And smoke some weed with Mariah.

I have spent the entire day in bed. I say that a lot, but literally, I have been up since 7am (after having a very strange Ian Somerhalder dream bahah), and I have only left my bed for food from the kitchen. It is now 6pm. Literally 11 hours spent in bed. I am so lame and unproductive.

This day has been so gross. And I feel so gross.

Things I have done with all this time: watched about 10 episodes of Modern Family; watched some Portlandia; read smutty fanfiction; did some online shopping, bought my Childish Gambino tickets; looked at Google Maps and street view (for longer than I care to even admit); researched things on Wikipedia and IMDB (mostly old films and actors like Mary Pickford, John Wayne, Janet Gaynor, Brigitt Helm, Humphrey Bogart, Claire Trevor); and played solitaire.

I am so excited to get back home. Dad is picking me up Tuesday night. I don`t even care that when I get home they are expecting me to clean a lot. I just want to be home, and eating and sleeping regularly. It sounds amazing.

I have some Christmas holiday goals:
-I want to watch a lot of old/classic movies. I still have to finish Metropolis (1927) and The Ugly American (1963) that are on my hard drive. And I want to watch a lot of random movies on the TCM channel (I really like to take advantage of having cable while at home). And on Christmas, we will likely watch It`s A Wonderful Life like usual, and I want to finally see Miracle on 34th Street.
-I want to finish reading The Diviners by Margaret Laurence
-I want to make lots of mix cds for everyone 
-I have an arts and crafts project that I am committed to, If I can get my hands on some old atlases.
-Do some work for next semester (probably won`t follow through with this, but it`s nice to dream).

KBYE

I am such a winner.

Starting to study at 11 pm for an exam that's at 2:30 pm tomorrow. I'm pretty sure it's worth 15 or 20% of my grade.

Fuck my existence.

Going to make more coffee and then buckle down. Let's hope I can do this shit and hopefully I can pull off a B.

Then Tuesday is my last Film class before the exam. We will do review in class and that will be lovely.

Wednesday is babysitting night. Pretty not excited, I should have said no because I have so much crap to do.

Friday is my last Urban Studies class, plus my 6 page paper is due (haven't really started it).
Due tomorrow, do tomorrow (<<< Basically my life motto)

Then Dad is picking me up, and I get the weekend in St.Marys. Where I will be more studious and prep for my Film exam that is on Tuesday.

And then, I have an entire week of nothing, to study for my Urban Studies exam, which I am going to NAIL, because I am super into the course and it's the only class that I am even remotely passionate in and I will ACTUALLY study for it. Plus I might study with my friend Eric, we can help each other out.

KBYE

So, I need to vent.

More Mariah-related drama. Bet you didn't see that one coming.
Haha, sarcasm. 

She's friends with Carlos, again. And she's fucking Carlos, again. And he is here right now, probably sleeping over for the second night in a row. They are in the kitchen, baking, I think. I refuse to leave my bedroom to find out. I am so confused by the whole situation, and to be honest, I don't even care what she has to say about it, because all she says is bullshit anyways. I'm not sure why I bother, considering all it does is give me grief and make me frustrated and anxious. I'm pretty really masochistic when it comes to her.

Before Carlos got here, she was on the phone with people, and planned a Halloween party here on Saturday night.
Ummm... what?! (Yeah, I'm a crazy eavesdropper.)

I refuse to be the bitchy lame roommate who is demanding and parent-like, when it comes to guests and other such things. But I do deserve some say in what happens here, Alicia reminds me, and I deserve respect, also something Alicia reminds me. It just makes me nervous and anxious. And I hate people, and parties, and loud noises, and when these things interfere with my sleep... I sound like the Grinch or something. 

I watched the new Parks and Recreation episode (4.05) and I basically freaked out about the Ben/Andy/April storyline. Because only minutes before watching I was texting Alicia about my Mariah anxiety and my total anti-confrontation standpoint. The episode was great, super hilarious, and touching. And I cried. There was this wonderful realisation: I AM Ben Wyatt, the passive-aggressive hater of confrontation, and Mariah IS Andy & April, the totally obnoxious roommate who would have a party without asking me about it.

I have been putting off talking to her and really confronting her about everything she makes me feel, and I need to stop that. Ben Wyatt has inspired me to do just that. God, that is so cliché, but I don't care.

But that HUGE mission will have to go down tomorrow, once her fuck buddy leaves. Must try to survive until then, sleeping with my headphones in for yet another hate-filled night.
Another reason to finally confront her.
FML.

LAWLZ
Another post!

Things:
-I'm watching The Mummy right now. It's such a quality movie, like Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz are fantastic.
-Next, I'm going to watch Saved. Then do my reading for enviropolitics tomorrow. Sweet.
-I got Netflix. It's super great. It may or may not negatively impact my attention span on school work.
-My day was spent on our new couch, cuddling with Marley and watching Parks&Recreation season 3 plus the 2 eps of season 4 that have aired. And then when Mariah and Sonja woke up, they came and we all watched it together and laughed. And it was amazing.
-I baked chocolate chip cookies on Friday, they ended up huge and slightly over cooked, but they were delicious.
-I am super duper excited for this weekend/Thanksgiving. Friday night is the Explosions in the Sky/Wye Oak concert, then Saturday morning is when I get to go home!! And I'm staying at home for an entire weeeeeek.
-The other day Mariah and I got super high and watched lots of Big Bang Theory. It was excellent.
-Mariah and I are good, for now, I suppose. I'm sure in a couple days she'll go and do something inconsiderate and I'll be frustrated again. We sort of had the talk, but it was brief and I'm not sure how effective it was. At least she's done with Carlos. And now she's got two other guys, Paul and Josh... I think she's dating Josh and just fucked Paul out of boredom. I don't really know, but she is completely incapable of being alone/single.
-ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Oh my gosh. If this actually comes into fruition, I will cry.

To quote Ron Swanson,
"I hope the rest of your day is cool beans!"

I AM SUCH A SHIT STUDENT.
UGH.

This essay is just being a douche-canoe and not writing itself... I mean, C'MON!

I'm not sure why it's so difficult. Like, I have a basic understanding of intersectionality, and I know what Amit Taneja has to say about the subject and how it is manifested in his life experiences. But the ability to write a 4 page essay on the subject... has escaped me.

I feel as if my english skills have disappeared, it's like I don't even remember how to write a fucking essay. I haven't written a proper essay since before February, to be fair.

At about 6, I went on a break and walked to Timothy's and Subway, for a latte and noms. Since then, I've been wired but unproductive.

I spent over an hour on a Tumblr dedicated to Canadian Problems. Time well spent.

However, it's been a good night musically, I've just been listening to Caribou, M83, Neon Indian, and Washed Out. Sooo good.

I'm not sleeping until I'm a few paragraphs into this. The rest can be done tomorrow, and possibly Friday. But it must MUST be done and handed in by Friday afternoon, hopefully before my Friday morning class, but I doubt that will happen. 

I might update/discuss my Mariah situation on the weekend.
Despite the fact that no one reads this, and therefore, I have no one to update on my dilemmas here on LJ.
Bahaha.
I wish LJ was still cool and used by all my friends.
Nope.