I have a 3500 word essay due in 2 hours. Annnnd I'm about 1500 words into it. And I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck I'm actually doing and wanting to say haha.
Again, whyyyyyyy is it that I always seem to need to LJ when I am at my busiest and most fucked.
I have too many non-related thoughts in my head. And I keep getting distracted.
I think back to my first year of university and I would often pull all-nighters down in the cafeteria, well technically, I would usually let myself sleep a couple hours and then get back at it. I wish I still had that level of discipline. Sadly, I do not. And I realise that part of the reason I did that back then was that I didn't know how easy it was to fail. I had never failed anything and didn't even fathom how awesome it would be to just not do what I had to do. I'm fighting myself to keep going and not just panic and give up, like I have many other papers that I pushed to the very last minute, and then decided failing was preferable to actually making an effort.
But I am going to do it. I swear to fucking God.
It will be late, like all of the things I hand in essentially, and it will be shorter than its supposed to be, I'm aiming for 3000 words or 10 pages, and it will likely be shitty and not flow like it should, because I am so bad at essay writing.
BUT WHATEVER. I want to have it submitted by noon tomorrow, so 14 hours. That is my plan, and I am sticking to it!
I'm done with my perfect or nothing mentality. I want Ds and Cs and that is all.
I just want to tell my TA that, and like apologise for how garbage and late it will be, and beg for at least a D haha.
- JUST DO IT, FUCKFACE